So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
