I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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