Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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