Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i drank out of a bidet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
