margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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