I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
