You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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