ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
