How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
