he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
