I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
