After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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