I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
