You really coming over, don't trick.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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