If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize