Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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