My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just had sex on a roof
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
