Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize