you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize