i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize