You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
