We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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