I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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