Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
