my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
