Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
