Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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