I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
