Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
