i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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