I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Success! We fucked roommates!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
