He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
