in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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