Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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