1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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