If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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