69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
People with herpes should wear stickers.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
