He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
