god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize