Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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