believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
