So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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