I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
