Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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