I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
smell my finger.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize