i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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