I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
