No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
