Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
