Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
