He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
