I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
