you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize