Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
