shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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