Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
