ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
