Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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